


Sweet Home Storybrooke

by PipexVauseman



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sweet Home Alabama Fusion, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-13 10:10:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13568394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PipexVauseman/pseuds/PipexVauseman
Summary: The fic no one asked for, and the one I chose to write instead of finishing any of my in progress works because Sweet Home Alabama was on TV and all I could think was how perfect a story it would be for Swan Queen.Alternate universe, no familial ties, some OOC.





	1. Chapter 1

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At 10-years-old they chased lightning in a storm, counting the seconds between bolts as they ran down the beach. A blast shot out of the sky, striking the sand in front of them.

“We’ll be safe here,” Emma reassured her, kneeling next to the impact hole to inspect the glassy surface and imagine what sort of branches had formed beneath like the root system of a tree.

“Says who?” Regina challenged automatically, her hands on her hips.

“Everybody,” Emma shrugged. “Lightning never strikes the same place twice.” She looked up then and saw her best friend curiously studying her and felt her stomach swirl like the lightning bugs they caught in mason jars. “I think I’m gonna marry you some day,” she mused.

Regina’s dark eyes seemed to sparkle as she laughed, “Why would you wanna do that?”

Emma shrugged again and smiled playfully, “So I could kiss you any time I want.”

Regina’s eyes went wide but she couldn’t deny the thrill she felt at Emma’s confession and she leaned forward to meet Emma half way. Their lips met for a quick kiss as the thunder rumbled overhead. They both felt excitement, like their bellies were full of the lightning they had been chasing the moment Emma pulled away. She flashed Regina a crooked smile but was puzzled when Regina’s eyes went wide again, this time in terror.

The lightning bolt knocked Regina down when it struck Emma, ripping her clean out of her shoes and tossing her across the beach.

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At 16-years-old Emma got kicked out when her newest set of foster parents caught them kissing. Granny always had a soft spot for runaways and strays, and was already raising another teenage girl, so she offered to take her in.

Emma sniffled while she unpacked her bags, “I knew it was a matter of time anyway. Even my real parents didn’t want me.”

Regina wrapped her in a hug when she started sobbing and squeezed her tight.

“I want you.”

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At 18-years-old they made the road trip from Storybrooke to Boston with their caps and gowns thrown in the back seat of Emma’s Volkswagen.

A quick ceremony in a courthouse with the county clerk as a witness had them married in under an hour.

“I can’t believe we just did that,” Regina giggled and Emma’s heart skipped a beat at how carefree she sounded.

She shifted into 4th gear and then reached across the shifter housing to grab Regina’s hand, tracing the simple gold band on her ring finger with her thumb as she pressed a gentle kiss to her palm and shrugged.

“I always told you I was gonna marry you some day.”

Regina smiled and her dark eyes went soft for a moment, full of love and contentment, but then seemingly realizing something she sobered.

“My parents are going to freak out.”

“Your mom will,” Emma corrected. “Your dad won’t. He just wants you to be happy. And he likes me.”

“He adores you.”

Regina turned the radio down with her free hand and Emma balked, “Hey! I like that one.” Regina rolled her eyes but indulged her and turned it back up as Emma started singing along, “Sweet home Alabama. Where the skies are so blue. Sweet home Alabama. Lord, I’m coming home to you. Here I come!”

“I don’t understand your fondness for this song. You’ve never even been to Alabama,” she chuckled affectionately. “Idiot.”

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At 22-years-old they had a new set of caps and gowns stuffed in the back seat of Emma’s Volkswagen. They had finished college and were celebrating with a cheap bottle of champagne in their tiny studio apartment.

“Kathryn and I got our LSAT results back. We both passed! And we were both accepted to the law school in New York for our J.D. degree program! Isn’t that exciting?” Regina’s smile was wide as she jumped on Emma who was sprawled out on the couch.

“Yeah, babe.” Emma smiled back, but Regina sensed something was wrong. “That’s great news.”

Regina frowned, “Then why are you making that face?”

“What face?”

“That one,” she motioned with a circular wave around Emma’s head. “I know it feels like school has been never ending, but there’s only 3 more years in this program and then we can take the bar exam to start practicing in New York. And you have the police academy to apply for now! Your physical, and the polygraph, and all the exams, and—”

Emma sighed and sat up, pushing Regina off so they could sit side by side.

“I don’t know if I want to join the NYPD.”

“Oh,” Regina frowned, confused. “Well, there are lots of other law enforcement agencies we could look into. Were you interested in something else in particular?”

“No, I...I guess what I meant to say was...I...” She huffed and squirmed in her seat anxiously. “Do you ever just feel like getting in the car and going?”

Regina’s frown deepened, “Going where?”

“I don’t know. Just going. Just driving until you don’t know where you are anymore. Getting to escape for a little while.”

“No, Emma.” Regina snapped and stood up. “I don’t think about escaping. I think about doing what I need to get done to make sure we have a good future.” She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming. “We have been studying and going to class every moment of every day. Do you have time to get another part time job, because I certainly don’t, nor do I want one when the next 3 years will be loaded with even more studying and classes. My parents are doing us a favor by supporting us and the only reason I even got my mother to agree in the first place was because of the commitments we made. Finish college,” she motioned at both of them, “go to law school,” she motioned to herself, “and go to the academy,” she motioned at Emma.

“Well maybe I don’t want to go to the academy anymore!”

“Yes, you’ve expressed that now. You just haven’t explained why, or what your alternate career choice is.”

“Maybe I don’t have an alternate career choice yet! Maybe I’m just sick of going to school! Maybe I’m sick of being micromanaged by you and your mother!”

“Then maybe you _should_ just get in your car and go since you clearly have no ambition to do anything else! I swear, Emma, after all these years the only thing you seem to be interested in doing is running.”

Emma never replied, just slammed the door on her way out it, making Regina wince.

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	2. Chapter 2

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At 35-years-old Regina pauses in the doorway, her keys in one hand and the mail in the other, her mouth wide open in shock. There’s a seemingly never ending supply of flower petals strewn around the house.

“Henry?” She calls out and hears the thundering of footsteps above as he starts to run from his room down the stairs to meet her. A second pair of steps follow, heels clicking at a leisurely pace.

“I think she’s broken,” Henry murmurs and waves his hand in front of her face. “She didn’t even tell me not to run in the house.”

“Well look at this bloody mess!” Zelena cackles. “She’s probably planning out how to clean it all up.”

“It gets worse,” Henry looks up at his mother with an unimpressed roll of his eyes. “Your office is full of roses.”

“One for every moment he thought of you last night,” Zelena dramatically flutters her eyelashes with a hand to her chest and shoves the card that says as much at her, then drops the act in favor of smirking when Henry starts making gagging sounds.

“He’s a wanker.”

That snaps Regina out of her shock.

“Henry!” She gives him a disapproving look before turning on her sister, “I blame you for that.”

“And I blame your boyfriend for my imminent allergy attack. I can practically taste the pollen in the air around us.”

“Zelena,” Regina sighs and rubs her temples.

“What’s that all about then, eh? You getting a headache? From all these bloody flowers, no doubt.”

“No,” Regina drawls. “It’s from you.”

When she drops her hands the large diamond ring sparkling on her left one catches Zelena’s eye.

“Right, that’s it. On that date last night he asked you a little more than just to vacation in Ireland this Christmas, didn’t he?”

“Sweetheart,” Regina ignores her and crouches down, brushing the hair off Henry’s forehead with her fingertips. “Why don’t you go upstairs and make sure you have everything packed?”

His eyes narrow, knowing she’s sending him away because she doesn’t want him to hear whatever she’s about to say. She doesn’t budge though and gives him an expectant look until he agrees.

“Okay, Mom.”

She waits until he’s out of sight before lowering her voice and scowling at her sister, “I asked you here to watch my son for a few days, not to provide running commentary on the decisions I make in my life.”

“Fine,” Zelena gives in and Regina is immediately suspicious. She examines her nails nonchalantly and quips, “I’m just trying to prepare you for when you see Mother.”

Regina groans, knowing that quick surrender was too good to be true. “I’m planning on being there long enough to get a signature. That’s it.”

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She starts scowling as soon as her plane lands. The vein in her forehead starts to throb when she drives her rental car passed the sign welcoming her to Storybrooke. The irritation radiating off her in waves fizzles when the GPS indicates she’s reached her destination.

Confused, she pulls over across the street from the large three-story home with a white picket fence. She frowns and rechecks the address, but needs no further confirmation when Emma’s yellow Volkswagen pulls up and parks.

She watches her hold a cell phone to one ear, oblivious to being watched, and slip a duffel bag over her shoulder. Emma hip checks the door of her car shut and slips her phone between her jaw and shoulder while she locks it.

Regina continues watching Emma as she opens the gate and walks up the path to the front door, then opens it and disappears inside.

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Emma has only been inside long enough to drop her bag and keys on the kitchen table and her leather jacket on the couch when she hears a knock on the door.

“That was fast,” she says as she opens the door. She’s impressed, thumbing through the cash in her wallet for extra tip money. “What do I owe you?”

Emma feels her heart drop to the pit of her stomach when she hears, “A divorce, for starters.”

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	3. Chapter 3

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Emma just stands there frozen with her wallet still open and Regina rolls her eyes.

“Come on, Emma, I mean it. The joke’s over.” She uncrosses her arms and reaches in her purse for the manila envelope full of legal documents. “Let’s just finish this. I’ve got a plane to catch.”

Emma looks around like she’s being pranked and the joke is, in fact, not over. Then she chuckles.

“You’re shittin’ me, right?”

It’s not the response Regina expects and she glowers. 

“You know, I’ve never actually understood that expression...but, no. I’m not _‘shitting’_ you.” She pulls the paperwork out of the envelope and waves it, “Look, it’s even got these idiot-proof tabs to make it easy. There’s one copy for me, one copy for you, and one copy for the lawyers.”

Emma makes no move to take the paperwork, just rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips.

“That’s the first thing you say to me after 13 years?”

“I have a lawyer who charges $350 an hour. He billed me every time you sent these papers back!”

“Well, I’m glad to see you finally got the message.”

Regina bites her lip and looks up, silently counting to ten before exhaling and putting on a mask of indifference.

“Can we just _try_ to keep this as civilized as possible? Please sign these papers so I can go home.”

She’s not sure which part of the sentence that’s just left her mouth has irked Emma, and she hasn’t seen in the blonde in years, but she can still read the way her features start to harden.

Emma scowls, crossing her arms defiantly, “What do you know about home? I bet your mom doesn’t even know you’re in town.”

“That’s _my_ business.”

“Fair enough,” Emma nods and takes a step back, then slams the door in Regina’s face.

“Emma!” She screams and bangs on the door. _So much for civilized._ “You dumb, stubborn, flannel-wearing, redneck hick! The only reason you won’t sign these papers is because I want you to!”

A fuming Emma yanks the door back open, “Wrong! The only reason I’m not signing is because you think you can show up here and start ordering me around again and I’d like nothing better right now than to piss you off!”

The door slams shut again.

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“Divorce, my ass,” Emma grumbles and grabs a beer from the fridge. She leans against the counter letting her head thump against the cabinet behind her while she takes a long drink.

Her eyes snap open when she hears the front door, certain she locked it behind her.

“Hey, genius.” Regina calls from the living room, the smell of the pizza Emma ordered wafting in as she carries it in with her. “Next time you lock somebody out, make sure they don’t know where you would hide a spare key.”

Emma ignores her and stomps up the stairs to her bedroom.

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“You still got that expensive lawyer on retainer?”

Emma has a swagger in her step as she walks back down the stairs.

Regina jumps up from the couch as the reflection of flashing red and blue lights start to bounce off the walls. She yanks the curtains open and sees a patrol car parked behind Emma’s Volkswagen.

“You called the Sheriff?! You know that old bastard hates me!”

“For good reason!”

As Regina grabs her purse and starts to run for the back door she stops in her tracks when she hears a familiar voice.

“So the rumors are true,” he chuckles. “Regina Mills is back in Storybrooke.”

Regina whips around and smiles. An actual, real, bright smile. It’s so wide the wrinkles that have started to form around her eyes are visible.

Emma immediately regrets calling him. In fact, she suddenly has an overwhelming urge to punch him.

“Graham!” Regina rushes toward him and gives him a big hug, squealing when he picks her up and spins her around. She slaps his chest playfully and he puts her down, “I can’t believe you’re the Sheriff now!”

“I’m not, I’m one of the Deputies.” Graham laughs and glances at Emma, his confusion not diminishing any when she motions for him to shut up. “But I still get to frisk pretty little things like you all day and get paid for it,” he jokes and Emma sighs.

“Hey, Deputy. Can you try and be a little more professional about this? We have a crime suspect here.”

Graham straightens the tie around his neck and gives Regina a serious look, “Now, Regina, you know you can’t just go breaking into other people’s houses.”

“I didn’t break in,” Regina rolls her eyes. “I used a key.”

She picks it up off the coffee table, showing him. He examines it and looks even more confused.

“Well, it’s still not your house to just go letting yourself into. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to escort you out.”

“Use the cuffs, Deputy. Please.”

Regina shoots Emma a glare before turning back to Graham, “If you get her to sign these papers I’ll let you run me right out of town.”

“What kind of papers?”

“That’s none of your concern!” Emma shouts but he ignores her and accepts the papers Regina quickly thrusts in his hands.

“A bill of divorcement?” He glances up, “Damn, Emma. I thought you said you took care of this years ago.” He scratches the back of his neck and shrugs, “If you two are still married then this is her house too. This is nothing more than a domestic dispute.” Emma’s mouth drops in shock at his betrayal and Regina smirks victoriously. “You know what? I don’t have a single childhood memory that doesn’t have you two in it. And that includes the night I—”

“Deputy.” Emma stops him immediately. “Memory Lane is closed.”

“Right.” Graham pulls his jacket back and stuffs his notepad and pen in the pocket behind his vest. “You two probably have a lot of catching up to do. So I’m just gonna leave you to it.”

“You drive me crazy!” Regina smacks Emma with the documents Graham hands back to her, “Why won’t you just sign the papers?”

“Man, I set you up with your wife. You owe me one!”

“I’m sorry, Emma. You know there is nothing I can do. The law is the law and she has done nothing wrong.”

Emma sputters as he walks away.

“I suppose shoplifting lip balm from the pharmacy is okay!”

“Oh! I took that back and you know it!”

Graham ignores them and keeps walking.

“You remember that incident of vandalism out at the stockyard? Totally her!”

Regina rolls her eyes, “Like I could tip a cow by myself.”

Graham shrugs and continues on his way.

Emma jumps and snaps her fingers, remembering. “Isn’t there some outstanding warrant for whoever dumped your family’s tractor in the fish pond?”

Regina gasps and Graham reaches for the handcuffs on his belt.

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“Who’s this?”

Regina rolls her eyes, “Hello, Zelena. It’s your sister. Lovely to hear from you as well.”

“Regina? Well what are you doing calling from some anonymous Storybrooke area phone number?”

“I just thought I’d surprise you.”

“Regina.”

“Ugh,” Regina huffs and runs her fingers through her hair in frustration, flipping out the ends. “I...Igotarrested.”

“Pardon?” Zelena cackles. “One more time, dear, if you please.”

“I got arrested,” she grits out each word slowly.

“Oh, that is marvelous.”

Regina closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose, “Can you _please_ stop taking delight in my misery?”

“But you give me so much material to work with.”

“Help me!”

“I’m in New York, dear. How do you suggest I do that?”

“Come bail me out!”

“And leave Henry with whom exactly? Just call Mother, I’m sure she will race right down there.”

“Are you insane? Don’t you dare let Mother find out about this. Just bring Henry with you. The soonest I can see a judge is Monday. I can’t stay in here all weekend!”

“Right. Okay, you’re starting to sound quite frantic and it’s really upsetting my chi. Just relax.”

“Get on a fucking plane right now!”

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	4. Chapter 4

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Looking at Henry bouncing in his seat and Zelena grinning wickedly it’s hard to determine which is more excited.

“Right. Let’s hear it. What’s landed you in the clink this time?”

“Emma and her big, fat mouth.”

“So business as usual then, yes?”

“This is so cool!”

“Henry. This is not cool. It was just a simple misunderstanding, that’s all.”

“Regina?”

Both sisters freeze in a mixture of panic and shock.

“I told you not to let her find out!”

“Regina!”

“Well, that’s just offensive. After all I’ve done for you, to assume I would—”

Regina holds up a hand, confused. “You didn’t call her?”

“Of course not!”

“No, Regina,” their mother sighs from behind them, startling them both and making them jump. “I had to find out through the grapevine that one of my children had bail pending and a Monday morning arraignment. Your sister did not _rat you out_. Frankly, I’m disappointed in both of you.”

“Through the grapevine?” Regina crosses her arms. “So, in reality does that mean eavesdropping or bribery?”

“It means there’s no use lying to me or trying to hide things from me. Like that boyfriend of yours,” she points at Regina’s left hand suddenly, “or the fact that you’re wearing a ring the size of a skating rink on a very important finger.”

“Mother, I don’t want to discuss this right now. He’s quite a catch, I’m sure you’ll approve.”

“Yes, the hippie with the State Senator for a father.”

Regina rolls her eyes, “Robin is not a hippie, he’s an environmental activist.”

“That’s nice. But we are different people, Regina. We are public servants. Elected officials tasked with performing to the best of our abilities. We have to set good examples.”

“Do you have to control everything?”

“Tell him I’ve put a hold on The Plaza for the second weekend in June. That should give you a nice, long engagement.”

“We were thinking Christmas in Ireland.”

“Honestly, Regina. I thought you learned your lesson the first time.”

“Mom?” Henry pulls on the hem of her skirt. “I’m tired. Can we go?”

“Yes, we should all get going. You look exhausted as well, Regina.” Cora squints, “Or maybe it’s the way you’re wearing your hair now.”

“You know, I’ve made something of myself. I have a career. A child who is happy and loved. Somebody who loves me. I did not come back here for a lecture or your approval.”

“Just mug shots and unfinished business, apparently.”

“Right. It’s time to go.” Zelena pulls Regina back before she can say anything else and pushes Henry towards the door. “Come along, poppet. Lovely to see you, as always, Mother. We’ll talk soon.”

“Breakfast. The diner. Tomorrow. 8 A.M. precisely,” Cora orders them with a serious look and a finger pointed between them.

“Your grandmother is a...complex woman,” Zelena tries to explain as they walk away.

Regina takes her hand and squeezes it, “Thank you.”

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The next morning Regina leaves Zelena and Henry waiting for a table at the diner while she takes a call outside and crosses the street towards the bank.

“Kathryn, please help me. What’s the quickest you can get a contested divorce processed?”

“18 months.”

“18 months?! I don’t have 18 months. I don’t have 18 days!”

“I’m sorry, Regina. I don’t know what to tell you.”

“This is a nightmare.”

“Regina? Is that you?”

Regina looks up to see Mary Margaret waving and crossing the street, headed straight for her.

“My nightmare just got worse. I’m gonna have to call you back, Kat.”

Mary Margaret squeals as she approaches, “Oh my goodness, it is you! I couldn’t quite tell from all the way on the other side of the street. I’ve never seen your hair this short before!” Mary Margaret grabs her for a big hug and Regina is at a loss for words because she has her hair cut above her shoulders but the other woman has a pixie cut. “David said you and Emma had quite the reunion.”

“David?” Regina pulls back, finally wiggling out of the hug, and frowns with a puzzled look.

“Oh, right.” Mary Margaret giggles and flashes her ring finger where a lime colored jewel sits on a platinum band. “Going on a decade now. We’ve got a little one at home too.”

“Well, congratulations. But how did David...?”

“He’s one of the Deputies.”

“Of course,” Regina sighs and starts digging through her purse for her wallet and the bail receipt so she can pay her sister back. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to run over to the ATM and make a withdrawal from my—”

“Your joint account?”

Regina pauses and looks up, “My what?”

“Your joint account,” Mary Margaret says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. The woman has always had loose lips but for once it’s working in Regina’s favor. She looks nothing but excited to help and eager to please Regina as she informs her, “You know. Your joint account with Emma. From what I hear, you’re still married. But that’s just pillow talk talking,” she waves dismissively.

“Why, yes,” Regina smiles evilly. “Yes, we are.”

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When Emma pulls up outside her house that night and notices all the lights are on, she’s immediately suspicious and on edge.

She slams her car door shut, locks it, and stomps all the way up to the front door, which she yanks open.

“What the fuck?” She mumbles to herself, drops her duffel bag on the couch, and stares at the table set for two.

Regina breezes out of the kitchen, an apron tied around her waist and a grin on her lips.

“Hello, darling. How was your day?”

Emma falters momentarily as Regina opens a bottle of wine but the pop of the cork snaps her out of her stupor.

She puts her hands on her hips and frowns, “Cut the shit. What are you doing here?”

“Now, what kind of wife would I be if I didn’t have dinner ready for you after a long day of work?”

She pats Emma’s cheek a little too hard to be considered affectionate and Emma’s frown deepens.

“The kind that doesn’t live here!”

Regina ignores her and purposely adds an extra sway to her step, drawing Emma in as she walks back to the kitchen and resumes dicing tomatoes, then tossing them in the salad she had been preparing.

“I had the sweetest chat with the Humberts today about that silly tractor incident. I believe they are dropping all charges.”

Emma’s eyes narrow, “Nice to see you could still find your way around town long enough to track down Graham’s parents.”

“Yes, I stumbled across a few things today.”

Emma yanks open the door of the fridge and balks, “What the hell is this?! Where’s my beer?”

“I got you some light beer, darling. Less calories. Will you be available tomorrow between 10 and 8? I have a new stove coming. I tried to pick out a new bed as well, but have you been to the Sit N Sleep lately? Yuck. I suppose I’ll just have to order something from New York.”

Emma rolls her eyes and grimaces at the label of the drink in her hand as she cracks it open, “Whatever blows your dress up, babe. You go right ahead and spend your money.”

“Oh, but, darling. I thought we had always agreed to think of it as _our_ money.” Emma’s spine goes rigid and she starts chugging the drink she had been sipping. “Just a guess, but I’m thinking the words ‘joint checking’ are flashing in your head right now.”

Emma squeezes the can in her hand once she’s finished it and turns around to face Regina, looking a bit pale.

“How much did you take?”

“All of it,” Regina smirks.

“Son of a bitch!” Emma yells and throws the crumpled up can across the room in a fit of frustration.

“You want a wife, you got a wife!” Regina yells back and pulls the apron up and off over her head. “And what are you doing with all that cash? Why don’t you invest it? Don’t you know anything?!”

“I know if you don’t get out of this house right now—”

“Sign the papers and I’ll give it all back.”

“Fine!”

“Fine.”

“Give me a pen.”

Regina grabs the manila envelope and a pen from her purse but then yanks them back at the last second when Emma reaches for them, curiosity getting the best of her.

“Hold on. What are you doing with all that cash saved up?”

“Give me the goddamn—”

“And since when do you live back in Storybrooke? Last I heard you were catching bail jumpers in Boston. And how did you afford this house? You’re not doing anything illegal, are you, Emma?”

“Maybe I am, so what?” Emma glares and her cheeks start to turn pink with the fury she feels. “I don’t ask you about your boyfriend, you keep your nose out of my life. Deal?”

Regina is stunned. “Who told you?”

“Here’s the thing, babe, just cause I talk slow doesn’t mean I’m stupid.”

She grabs the pen and envelope from Regina’s hand and plops down on the couch. As she takes the paperwork out and starts reading through it Regina wrings her hands.

“Look, Emma—”

“Hell, nobody finds their soulmate when they’re 10-years-old,” Emma mutters quietly.

Regina studies her for a moment before agreeing, “Yeah, I guess.”

“I mean, where’s the fun in that, right?” Emma tries to play off the sudden gloomy mood with a teasing smile and Regina’s heart lurches at how much she’s missed that crooked grin.

Emma goes back to reading and Regina wanders around the room, doing more thorough snooping than her rushed home invasion had allowed. She stops at the fire place and gently traces the piece of glass on the mantel.

“I can’t believe you kept this thing all these years,” she says in awe. It’s the glass that had formed to look like the roots of a tree, caused by the lightning striking the sand, and then Emma, on the beach when they were 10-years-old.

“Mhm.”

“You know, most people don’t know that lightning does that to sand.”

Emma’s phone pings and she turns the Apple Watch on her wrist to read the incoming message.

“Oh, hey, Gina. You know what?” She stands up and chuckles. “I just remembered I got myself a hot date.” She takes her leather jacket off and leaves it on the couch with the paperwork. “You don’t mind if I have my lawyer take a look at these, do you?”

Emma starts walking away and Regina rushes after her.

“What?!”

Emma is half way up the stairs, her henley pulled off and left discarded on the bannister along the way.

“I’m just a simple woman. There’s words in there I can’t even pronounce. What did you call me yesterday? A dumb, stubborn, flannel-wearing, redneck hick?” She comes back down the stairs with a clean flannel shirt on. “You might be taking me to the cleaners for all I know.”

“The cleaners? You?”

Regina sounds unimpressed but she has to look away since Emma has yet to button the fresh shirt she’s thrown on.

Emma turns the pen Regina had given her over in her hand, examining it.

“Say, what did this set you back, anyway?”

“More than you make in a month! Just sign the damn papers!”

Emma scowls and tosses the pen back so she can use both hands to button her shirt, causing Regina to fumble as she tries to catch it.

“Nah. But thanks for stopping by.”

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	5. Chapter 5

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Regina hears the booming music coming from The Rabbit Hole all the way out in the parking lot. She takes a deep breath to brace herself for the mayhem waiting on the other side of the door before pulling it open and venturing inside.

As she walks she scans the crowd, but doesn’t pay any attention to who is behind the bar as she strolls by. One of the bartenders notices her though, and yells out, “Batten down the hatches, boys! Trouble just walked back into my life disguised as my favorite sister-in-law!” Ruby rounds the bar quickly, “Get your ass over here and give me a hug!”

Regina accepts the hug easily but rolls her eyes and holds up her left hand, “Soon-to-be _ex_ -sister-in-law.”

“God damn, girl,” Ruby sputters at the size of the diamond. “That Robin Locksley can pick one hell of a rock.”

Regina’s mouth falls open in shock, “How did you know that?”

“We all have our little secrets,” Ruby winks. “I just read all about yours on the internet.”

“What?!”

Ruby grins wolfishly, “A pretty little Assistant District Attorney dating the State Senator’s son. Yes, ma’am. I know all about the cocks in your hen house.”

“Oh god!” Regina smacks Ruby’s arm. “Please stop talking.”

“All right, all right.” Ruby relents and squeezes Regina’s shoulders. “It’s good to see you.” Turning back to the bar she yells at the guys working with her, “Hey, you give this lady whatever she wants!” She grabs an empty bottle off the bar in one hand and squeezes Regina’s with the other. “I gotta get back to it, but I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

Regina smiles and nods, then motions over one of the bartenders Ruby had yelled at.

“I’ll take a Grey Goose martini, two olives, dirty.” She hands him some cash and takes a sip, humming appreciatively and nodding her head in approval. “Thank you. Any idea where I can find Emma Swan?”

He lifts his chin, motioning with a nod of his head towards the pool tables and Regina smirks and drops some more cash on the bar. She picks up her drink and saunters over to where Emma is standing in front of a man on a bar stool.

Emma’s back is to Regina and she misses Graham’s rumbling laugh when he notices the brunette approaching.

“Mind if I join you?”

The voice suddenly coming from behind her leaves her startled and she chokes on the beer she’s sipping. She rolls her eyes and turns around, giving Regina a clear look at the leather and eye liner clad man she had been talking to.

“Actually, we do.”

Regina ignores her and extends her hand, “You must be Emma’s hot date.”

The man accepts the hand shake with an amused smirk, “Killian Jones. The pleasure is all mine, I’m sure.”

“Regina Mills. I’m Emma’s bossy New York bitch wife, whom she refuses to divorce, even though I’m engaged to a wonderful man.”

She glares at Emma as she holds her hand up, flashing the ring.

Killian whistles, “Wonderful, indeed. Look at that beauty!”

“Killian,” Emma interrupts his appraisal quickly. “Why don’t you get us a couple drinks?”

“Sure thing, luv,” he agrees easily. He gets up and starts walking towards the bar, but stops to turn back to ask Regina, “I’m afraid I just fancy a bit of rum myself, so I might be a tad ignorant as to what it is you’re drinking. Is that a martini, or...?”

Emma rolls her eyes, “Not ‘me and her’ us. ‘You and I’ us.”

Graham chuckles before reminding her, “It’s your shot, Em.”

Emma takes a wide step around Regina and lines her stick up with the white ball on the table. Just as she’s about to hit it Regina puts her glass on the table, blocking the shot.

“Why do you make me be mean to you? Is that what you want? To be humiliated in front of all your friends?”

“Oh, come on, Regina,” Graham scoffs. “We were your friends, too.”

Emma grabs Regina’s glass and finishes her drink as the Nolan twins walk in.

“Well, looky, looky there! You seein’ what I’m seein’, Davie?”

“Well, well, well,” Regina drawls back. “If it isn’t Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber.”

David laughs and makes a signal to James who nods and laughs too. They slowly approach Regina from opposite sides of the next pool table over.

“Hey, Jamie?”

“Yeah, Davie?”

“Are you hungry?”

“Starved!”

Regina tries to back up but she bumps into the pool table behind her, nowhere to run.

“No, no, no!”

“I could use a Regina sandwich!”

“No, don’t you dare!”

They sandwich her between them in a big bear hug, jostling her around with their playful rough housing as she screams and wildly swings her arms, trying to get them to release her.

David’s boyish grin looks just like it did in high school, “Just seems like old times, doesn’t it?”

“Get off me! Ugh!” They finally release her and she straightens out her shirt and wipes down the front of her skirt like they’ve rubbed dust all over her. “No, not like old times, all right? Times have changed! No more Regina sandwich, no more Regina taco, and no more Regina corn dog.” She smacks them each in the upper arm with the back of her hand once more for good measure. “Got it!”

“Sure,” David laughs and holds his hands up. “Sorry.”

“We were just playing with you,” James whines, disappointed.

“Come on, guys. Let’s play some pool,” Graham finally interrupts them. “And if you can’t find a cue just pull the one shoved up her ass.”

The bar erupts in a frenzy of whistles, claps, cheers, hoots, and hollers. Emma chuckles around the beer she’s sipping on, her eyes never leaving Regina.

“I can’t believe you idiot farm boys still do that to people.”

“Well, believe it,” David laughs and stands up, offering her his chair. “Now, you sit down right there and keep my wife company. You can just watch and see as I teach Emma a thing or two about pool.”

“Well, now, that might be a problem. I never was the ‘watch and see’ kind of girl. Was I, Emma?”

Emma levels her with an unamused look and ignores the question. Regina reaches for her martini glass as Killian approaches with rum for himself and another beer for Emma. She frowns when she realizes her glass is empty and pulls the toothpick out. She gently slides the olives off with her teeth before flinging the now bare piece of plastic across the room at Emma.

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As the night has gone on they've all started doing shots and the edges of the pool table and the tables around them are littered with empty glasses.

Graham blinks owlishly as he tries to focus enough to only see one ball when he takes his shot and immediately scratches, making Regina giggle so hard she snorts.

Killian is leaned up against the wall with his arm draped over Emma’s shoulders and Mary Margaret can’t take being silent anymore. She’s ready to burst when she finally asks the million dollar question.

“So, Emma. Are you ever going to divorce this woman, or what?”

“Well,” she sighs watching Regina stumble on her heels and put down another shot glass. “She waited 13 years. A couple more days won’t kill her.” She brushes Killian off, leans over the table to line up her stick with the next shot, and mumbles, “Unfortunately.”

“I waited 13 years?! HA! That’s a crock of shit if I ever heard one. Like it’s gonna make a difference anyway.”

David grins at how Regina has become disheveled and informal so quickly. “You never know,” he shrugs. “You might be interested to learn your girl, Emma, here has this whole—”

“Hey, hey,” Emma cuts him off. “Let her think whatever she wants, David. She made up her mind about me a _long_ time ago.”

Regina looks her up and down and raises one eye brow, unimpressed. “Some things never change.” James takes his shot and the crowd that’s gathered around them groans. “Like James here,” she quips. “Never could get his balls in the right pocket.”

“Okay, Emma,” Ruby massages her shoulders. “It’s just you and Regina. This is clutch time, just like state playoffs. We were tied. Needed the game winning goal. Needed our girls soccer team captain, Emma Swan, to come in and save the day!” The bar breaks into another round of applause and half a dozen hands clap Emma on the back as she smirks smugly at Regina. Ruby laughs when she follows Emma’s line of sight, “Do you remember that, Regina?”

“How could I forget?” Regina levels Emma with a glare. “That was the night your savior and I fucked for the first time.”

Emma’s cheeks start to turn pink, not from the alcohol she’s consumed, but from the anger she feels suddenly boiling just beneath the surface.

“Why don’t you just go public with that shit?”

“Oh, come on,” Regina rolls her eyes and saunters around the pool table. “It’s not like anybody can keep a secret around here...” She stops in her tracks and looks over her shoulder to where Graham is leaning against the wall. “Except for Deputy Humbert.”

His eyes go wide and he stands, startled. “What did I ever do to you?”

“Nothing at all, dear, but I’m sure if you had you would have wept over it just like you wept over every animal you killed when your daddy made you go hunting with him.”

“Regina!” Mary Margaret gasps. “What is the matter with you?”

“Well,” Graham throws his pool stick on the ground, picks up his jacket in one hand, and slams back a shot with the other. “I think I’ve had enough fun for one night.”

He storms out and Regina yells after him, “Oh, come on. It’s nothing to cry over. I was just kidding!” Her gaze falls on Ruby once he’s out of sight and she perks up, “Hey, Ruby! How about another round of drinks for me and my friends over here?”

Ruby sighs and tries to smile, “Honey, I think he’s right. We’ve probably had about enough.”

“You know what,” Regina points at her. “I think you’re right. I have had enough. I mean, how do you people live like this, anyway?!”

“All right,” Emma puts down her stick and holds a hand up to quiet her. “That’s enough. Come on.”

“Did you know that there’s a great, big world out there? And it has absolutely nothing to do with fishing, or mining, or beer!”

She starts dragging Regina away, “Let’s go. Outside. Now.”

“Let go of me!”

“What makes you think you can treat them like something you stepped in with those fancy high heels you’re wearing? Huh?!”

“You asked for it!” Regina screams and shoves Emma hard.

“I asked for it?! You show up here, you steal my money, you break into my house, then you insult my friends acting like you’re better than them!”

“I _am_ better than them! And you stole my pen!”

“That’s all that matters to you, isn’t it? The money, the labels, the shoes. You’re pathetic!”

“Oh, like you’re going places!”

Mary Margaret finds them outside screaming at each other in the parking lot and holds up the purse Regina forgot inside, “This yours?”

“Thank you,” she snatches it out of her hands and starts rummaging around inside. “I’m going places as soon as I get my keys out of here.”

“The hell you are,” Emma grabs the purse from her and pockets the keys. “You want to kill yourself? You do it somewhere else.” She stomps over to the Bug and unlocks the passenger door, “Get in the car.” Regina refuses to budge and Emma snaps, “Now! Move!”

“All right!”

The whole car shakes when Emma slams the door shut. She takes a deep breath and mumbles a line of swear words when she notices Killian walking out. He doesn’t have his motorcycle helmet with him, so her guess is he’s staying to continue drinking.

He smirks and teases, “I suppose this means our _hot date_ is over then, aye luv?”

Regina yanks open the door and vomits.

“I’m afraid so,” Emma sighs and tries to ignore the sound of gagging.

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Regina immediately passes out and when Emma attempts to drop her off at Granny’s it’s to the news that she had already checked out that morning. Frowning, Emma heads back to her car, not sure where to go next, but that question is answered for her when Zelena calls Regina’s cell phone. She fishes it out of Regina’s purse and answers it, much to Zelena’s amusement.

“Our mother insisted we stay with her after breakfast this morning. You may deposit my sister here. And do try to be quiet while doing so. You know the old witch will be a monster if she’s woken up.”

“Regina or Cora? Cause that could go either way,” Emma mutters and Zelena cackles.

“Hurry now, it’s been far too long since I’ve gotten to appreciate that wicked sense of humor.”

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Zelena holds open the front door wearing a green robe and a smirk while Emma carries an unconscious, snoring Regina over the threshold.

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	6. Chapter 6

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She expects the sunlight to wake her in the morning, but it’s the pounding in her head which does it. She groans, rolls over, and lands face first on a pile of papers. Cracking one eye open she sits up slowly and sees all four copies of the divorce paperwork with Emma’s sloppy signature scrawled across the bottom line.

And, inexplicably, her pen.

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She’s not sure which is making her feel worse, the massive hangover, or the combination of regret, shame, and embarrassment the snippets she’s remembering from the night before provide her with.

After a shower she feels a little more human and she heads downstairs in search of food, coffee, and pain relievers. She rolls her eyes at Zelena’s cackle and her mother’s disapproving look.

“Mom!” Henry shouts, full of excitement the way only 10-year-olds can be. “There’s a Miner’s Day parade! Can we go?”

Regina rubs her temples and groans, “I forgot Storybrooke seems to have some sort of invented holiday every weekend.”

“It boosts morale, Regina, dear.”

“People need a passport to come down here.”

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Regina, Henry, and Zelena decide to walk into town since most of the roads are cordoned off for the parade that afternoon and street fair later that evening. Henry holds her hand as they walk and chatters away with an enthusiasm Regina hasn’t seen from him in the past year. As they approach Main Street she makes a stop to buy stamps, then drops the manila envelope with her divorce paperwork in the mail.

As they leave the local post office she notices a yellow pickup truck towing a white horse trailer pulling into the parking lot behind the Sheriff’s station. Curious, she starts walking in that direction and Zelena clears her throat.

“All this exercise has left me feeling rather parched.”

Regina rolls her eyes, “We’ve walked 5 blocks.”

Zelena ignores her and turns to Henry, “Fancy a cuppa, poppet?”

Henry smiles and holds his hands together imploringly, “Cocoa?” He looks back at his mother for confirmation and she nods.

“Right, then we’re off to Granny’s for some refreshments. Want anything, sis?”

“No, thank you,” Regina looks back towards the horse trailer, intrigued. The trailer itself has the Storybrooke Sheriff’s Department logo printed on the sides, but the doors of the truck don’t. They have a lightning bolt. “You go ahead, I’ll meet you back here.”

She feels like her hangover might have made her delusional when she gets closer and sees Emma in the back of the horse box moving the bar and divider away from one of the stalls.

“Come on, Trigger,” Emma lifts the tail of one of the horses and clicks her tongue. She steps down and to the side, out of the way, as the big animal walks backwards down the ramp. She clicks her tongue again and holds out a treat in her hand. “Good boy.” She nearly drops the lead rope tied to the halter that she’s holding when she notices Regina standing there watching her. “Christ, wear a bell or something.”

“I should have known it was you. No one else would be caught dead driving a vehicle this color.”

Emma shrugs, unbothered. “I like yellow.” The other horse still in his stall whinnies and Emma seems to remember what she was doing. “David was supposed to pick them up. And help me unload them,” she huffs but it’s more fond exasperation than true annoyance. “You got a minute?”

Regina glances back and sees no sign of Henry or Zelena returning so she extends her hand, taking the lead rope from Emma and pulling the horse off to the side so Emma can climb back in the front of the trailer to untie the lead rope from the second horse’s halter.

She jumps out and walks around to the loading ramp and up into the second horse box, moving that bar and divider as well.

“I thought you were terrified of horses,” Regina muses as she studies Emma’s steady, confident movements.

Emma makes a noncommittal noise and shrugs, “They’re not so bad. Come on, Gunner.” She lifts his tail, signaling he has permission to leave his stall, and he starts backing up. “There you go. Good boy.” Once he’s unloaded she gives him a treat as well and notices Regina’s silent appraisal. “I thought you’d be long gone by now.”

“I just thought you should know I...I put the money back in your account.”

“Thanks,” Emma grabs a bridle from the loading port in the front of the trailer and slips the reins over the horse’s head and down his neck. “Saves me from bouncing a lot of checks.” She slips her arm through the rein and unclips the halter, letting it drop. “Look, Gina...” She sighs heavily and looks up with sad eyes, her mouth a thin line. “I signed your papers.”

From what Regina remembers she was a real piece of work the night before and she knows a round of apologies are due to everyone involved.

“Emma, I never meant to hurt you, or anybody else for that matter. Thank you, for signing the papers.”

Emma says nothing in response, just nods and stuffs her free hand in her back pocket. She looks at Regina for a moment before her attention is diverted to the red pickup truck pulling in. She waves at David and turns back to Regina with another, final nod.

“Thanks for your help.”

“That’s it?” Regina balks. The horse she still has a hold of whinnies and leans into her, bumping her shoulder with his nose.

Emma chuckles and her eyes soften, “I think he likes you.”

Regina pets his muzzle as Emma pulls out another treat for both horses.

“Where are you going?”

“Well,” Emma shuffles nervously from boot to boot. “Actually...I wanted to show you something.”

“Mom?”

Regina turns around and sees Henry crossing the street towards them with Zelena trailing closely behind looking wickedly giddy.

“I can’t,” Regina shakes her head and Emma frowns.

“Can’t or won’t?”

Regina sighs and quietly admits, “Both.”

“Well,” Emma motions for her to go. “I guess you better move on then.”

David approaches, all big, boyish smiles and cheery gratitude. Regina jumps a little, startled by his close proximity and hands him the lead rope so she can steer her son and sister away.

She doesn’t look back and does her best to ignore the whinny behind her as Emma saddles up the horses with David.

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The parade is in full effect but all Regina’s attention is on her son. He looks happier than she’s seen him in...she can’t even remember how long.

It’s been a tough year for them. He’s had a hard time adapting to her dating, having to share the minimal amount of free time she has with someone else. He’s a good boy, he understands. He’s never spoken ill of Robin. He wants her to be happy, more than probably anyone else in her life. But she can tell he’s not wild about the man now slated to fill the role of step-father.

He also stumbled across the fact that he had been adopted. Rebuilding his trust had been a long, hard won process. She promised not to keep anything from him again and when he had questions about who his birth parents were she answered them the best she could. Then, when she showed him the adoption papers signed by Regina Swan-Mills, his curiosity was peaked in a whole new way.

Work, too, has been hard on him. She’s always been busy, a single mother in a demanding career, but the past year especially had been difficult. Her case load had seemed to double as the District Attorney began planning for retirement. He had slated her as his candidate for replacement, but she still needed to be officially appointed and until that happened she was doing everything in her power to prove herself. She knew that meant her son spent a lot of time with a nanny, or a tutor, or after school projects, or sports, or being shipped off to his aunt. She knew that because her mother had done the same to her as a girl and it plagued her with guilt any time she had to arrange for someone else to be with him in her place.

But today, Henry stands in front of her and she wraps an arm around his chest and pulls him close enough to hug. She kisses the top of his head and counts this as a win.

Out of the corner if her eye she catches Mary Margaret, who joins them as they make their way to the front of the crowd lined along the street to watch, looking at her with a knowing smile and her own baby boy cradled in her arms.

“Oh!” Mary Margaret jumps when the baby starts to squeal in excitement. She follows his line of vision and grins. “Do you see Daddy? Do you?”

Regina looks up and is stunned silent. David and Emma are riding on the horses side by side wearing matching black tactical vests with SHERIFF across the chest. The left side has pouches for extra ammunition and a radio. The cords for the earpiece and response mic connected to the radio run along the inner lining in the back of the vests allowing the mic to be secured by a shoulder strap above the extra mags. The right side has smaller pouches along the chest and hip, presumably for pepper spray, handcuffs, gloves, and flashlight. The remaining open portion of the chest and right side has a cross-draw holster and the thick belts they wear have straps that run down and around the thigh to secure another holster to the leg, allowing them to carry two handguns.

The only real difference in their appearance is the color of the long sleeved shirt they wear under their vests and the type of guns they’ve chosen as service weapons. Emma prefers the tactical customization options of the HK45 while David favors the classic Colt M1911.

Zelena smirks, “Close your mouth, you’re bound to get flies.”

Regina’s mouth flaps open and closed uselessly before she can fully formulate words. She’s always hated Mary Margaret’s nonexistent filter, but right now she’s grateful the blabber mouth is standing by her side.

“How long has Emma worked for the Sheriff’s Department?”

“Well, let’s see...” Mary Margaret frowns as she thinks, shifting her baby to her hip and bouncing him as he giggles and kicks his little hands and feet while smiling at his father. “Maybe a year or two after we graduated from college? I don’t quite remember. She was in Boston for a while, and then she came back here. Umm...it was after David had come home from his four years active enlistment in the military...maybe a year or so into inactive reserves...they were both hired on as Deputies...and then Nottingham retired and Emma was elected new Sheriff.”

“Emma is the Sheriff?!”

Mary Margaret nods and looks around before adding conspiratorially, “Your mother was livid. She tried to use her position in the Mayor’s office to appoint her own candidate but Emma figured out there could be a debate and an election instead...some way or another...I don’t exactly remember anymore, it’s been so long.”

Regina’s surprised laugh comes out sounding more like a strangled cry as she tries to wrap her mind around the timeframe. She hadn’t heard from Emma after they graduated from college and argued about the future. Regina had expected her to be out all night but apologize in the morning. Instead she had woken up to Emma’s key on the kitchen table and some of her clothes and most prized possessions, including her baby blanket, missing. The only sign of her for the next 13 years was the divorce paperwork returned unsigned.

“So she was living here when my father died?”

“Oh, yes. Your father had been giving her riding lessons after your mother made mounted patrol a requirement during outdoor events,” she subtly nods with a tilt of her chin to where David and Emma are chatting, both looking relaxed and at ease as they survey the crowd from their elevated vantage points in their saddles. David has a gentle grip on the reins in one hand and the saddle horn in the other. Emma has a thumb hooked in her belt loop and absentmindedly pats the neck of her horse with her other hand. “You know, she went up there. Maybe that’s what got her to move back home.”

“Emma went where? When?”

“It was about a year after you two had separated. She doesn’t know I know, but David let it slip once.”

Regina is dumbfounded. “Emma was in _New York_?”

“She said she knew right away she would need more than an apology to win you back. She needed to conquer the world first.” Mary Margaret pauses to glance over at Emma and smile softly, “She’s been trying ever since.”

About a dozen things suddenly make sense to Regina, “That’s why she kept sending the papers back. And why she bought that big house on Main Street.”

“Yeah,” Mary Margaret admits with a defeated sigh. “It’s funny how things don’t work out.”

Zelena looks between her sister and Emma and smirks like she has a secret, “It’s funny how they do.”

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End file.
